spilling thoughts

There's something scary and exciting about returning to something.  That feeling of wondering if you can do it or if you will just leave.  It's been months since I even looked at this page.  Since I've thought of words and pictures that would go together.  I ask myself if I am ready to return.  I think I am.  

 It is as if I am opening the door on all the thoughts, memories, and pictures I have stored up inside, letting them all spill out through my fingers.  It is something natural, something I never even realized I missed.  It is beautiful.

 I am sixteen now and I still don't know what to think of it.  It doesn't feel very different yet I can feel adult-hood closing in while childhood tries to take a stronger hold on me.  One day I will need to find a balance between them but for now I can stay as I am.  I feel excitement for the future but I do not wish to be there so soon.  I want to relish my time because I've learned how truly precious and fleeting life and time is.  I found a quote that perfectly illustrated what I have discovered.

Today I am older than I have ever been and younger than I will ever be again.

 Life does not know what the word pause means.  There is no such thing as a standstill, only short times of peacefulness between the chaos we all call our lives.  Those are the times when we stop and look around.  See the joy and the pain in other's eyes and forget about our own for a while.  When we gather together and laugh away the problems.  Peace is found in the smile of a friend, the laughter of a child, the silent watch of the stars, and the whisper of leaves as they make their slow descent to the earth below.  These are my times of peace and remembrance.

 These are the times when I thank God for what I have, had, and will have.  Those are the times when I feel inspiration and I feel comfortable with who I am.  Those are times I treasure.