I feel like I only return to this blog when I realize my own authenticity is dying and in a way, it's true. This place is full of my authenticity and of the beauty I was passionate about capturing. But I have such a horrible tendency to let others be authentic and mimic their authenticity and so create a cheap copy; a hollow life. But I want to change. I want to rediscover my passion and reinvent my servant life. To make relationships that will last and let go of grudges. I'm not perfect. I do fail, get irritated, and forget what's important daily. But I want to learn to live. Oh, do I want to learn.
So, I'll sign out of my distractions for a while. I'll start run in the mornings and play card games at night. I'll kiss cheeks and hold little hands, and perhaps the life I always searched for online will create itself on its own. Perhaps life is less about saying and more about doing, because when it's all said and done I want my life to be full of midnight laughter, the sound of shuffling cards, the feel of the sun warming my cheeks, a blend of off-key singing, and the feeling of riding with the windows down and hands riding the breeze it creates. Life is a collection of feelings that can't be bought. No, it can only be found by packing my bags and hiking down the trail of my life. Sometimes I will walk alone and some days you may walk with me, but the beauty will be the same. I need only to be still.